So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
