I can tuck mytits in my pants
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
it glows. i had to have it.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
