The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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