I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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