He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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