this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
