lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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