he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
