I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
