I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
