just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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