i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
