i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
