we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
