I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
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