dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
You ate ashes out of my bong
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Randomize
