U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
