i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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