We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
