i don't plan on having that self control this summer
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
how drunk are you?
Several
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
