What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
