I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
