It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
