The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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