is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize