i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
