we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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