yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
