why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
