Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
