you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
