he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
