Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
we're so committed to being not committed
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
