Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
