a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
