Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
ugly people sure do ruin things
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
