TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
