for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize