She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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