how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
