it hurts more in the daytime
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
