Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize