I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
