There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Randomize
