Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
