I want to walk on stilts...naked
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
