There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
