Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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