She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
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