i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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